Learning to see beauty everywhere

Kaitlyn Marks
Class of 2021

(4/2018) Sometimes when I read a book, I find that it has the power to make me into a better person, a person who can see openly and embrace the world and those in it. While every book, word and sentence can shape our perspectives, it is rare to find a book that so wholeheartedly can open our eyes to all the possibilities and beauty found in the people, places and words surrounding us.

A Different Beautiful: Discovering and Celebrating Beauty in Places You Never Expected, by Courtney Westlake, tells the story of how her family came to terms with her daughter’s rare skin condition. Moreover, the book tells the story of trials, overcoming obstacles, shifting expectations and embracing all the beauty that every human being has the capacity to offer. I am known in my family for working through stacks of books in a day, so I read this book quick.

However, I still took my time, working through the words sprawling through the pages of this novel, and grappling with the ideas and the grief while celebrating the joys, victories and breakthrough moments. I found the book to be one that I couldn’t put down and was captivated by the simplistic breakdowns of complex moral ideas. The foundation of the story? We need to be kind, full of understanding to embrace the unique, different forms of beautiful that blossom across faces, places and words.

Westlake tells the harrowing story of her daughter Brenna’s birth and the realization that she might not survive to be more than a few days old. Brenna’s unexpected, life-threatening skin condition changes everything about the expectations that her family has for her life, and ultimately changes their lives entirely. After fighting for her life, things begin to stabilize for Brenna, and readers get a first-hand glimpse as the characters forge a stronger bond with God after a tumultuous experience, rather than shying away from faith. While reading the book, I found myself pondering the ways that I rely on God, and whether I find His strength or question the path I am on during difficult or even heart-shattering moments. As Westlake detailed the struggle to survive and to cope with the knowledge that her child would endure pain, I found myself enthralled with her own relationship with her faith. By the end of the book, I came away having a clearer vision of how my faith shapes my own life.

However, the book is about much more than faith and family. As Brenna grows and becomes more aware of the physical differences between her and those around her, Westlake and her husband encourage her (and readers) to understand the notion that beauty is much more than skin-deep. The author articulately describes the stares, questions, uneasy whispers and uncomfortable glances in grocery store lines, restaurants and more. Westlake encourages people to ask questions, but to be kind, thoughtful, open-minded and understanding, rather than judgmental or quick to demean or look away nervously.

Those who know me or have read a few of my prior articles in this newspaper, know that my life and view of the world changed when I did an internship with special needs students in my local school system. I spent my senior year of high school doing occupational therapy with these students and creating group activities, but more importantly, I spent my time giggling, reflecting and experiencing the uninhibited, pure love that these students were able to both give and receive to everyone they met. In a world that is full of darkness and stinging words, taking the time to understand that every single person is full of their own beauty is an underrated way of lighting up the darkness. I witnessed joy, inclusion and the ability to do more than anyone ever anticipated. I found beauty in the small, shy smile from the girl in the Life Skills classroom who didn’t want to be noticed. I found beauty in the simple act of fastening a button, a laboriously earned skill that I worked on with a student every chance I got. I found beauty in the mess the kids made at lunchtime, spilling on themselves as they snorted with laughter at a joke I or one of their friends told. After reading this book, I grew to see this beauty not just within the classrooms and students hugging me and holding my hand in my internship; I started to see and understand the nature of beauty everywhere.

Westlake also details beautifully the small struggles, big challenges and happy celebrations of Brenna’s daily life. While she examines the unexpected difficulties of her daughter’s skin condition, like the Aquaphor stains and layers they find while doing laundry, or the process of giving Brenna a bath and taking care of her skin each night, what shines through the pages is the capacity of Brenna to do anything and everything, to experience joy like any other human being, and to grow, be independent, and feel beautiful all on her own. I was captivated. I found myself smiling at the moments of joy the family could find within their altered routines and shifted expectations.

I learned, like Westlake herself, that expectations only serve to limit what we imagine. While the life she had imagined for Brenna didn’t write itself out in perfect print, complete with the images dancing in her head while she was pregnant, Brenna’s life is beautiful. Brenna herself is beautiful, and the life that her family experiences with her joy and spirit added to their life is, as described by Westlake, more special and open than it would have ever been otherwise. The lessons of learning to embrace the beauty found in unexpected places, celebrating the diversity of human nature, and accepting that life might play out in a beautifully unanticipated way completely contrary to our expectations shine through the book and I cannot recommend the story enough. Everyone has potential and unlimited capacity to shine, and the novel, A Different Beautiful, highlights the struggles and celebrations of humanity while capturing the nature of faith, family and unconditional love.

Read other articles by Kaitlyn Marks