The First Year

Kaitlyn Marks
Class of 2021

(5/2018) Last week, a friend and I decided to go for a walk after being kicked out of the academic building in which we were studying, since it was so late. When I say we walked, I mean we took an hours-and-miles-long trek. It was one of those uncharacteristically warm nights that blooms up spontaneously, much-needed after weeks of frigid winds and misty rain. While the breeze whirled around us and the mountains stood dark against the night sky, we looked at each other and realized that somehow it happened; freshman year is almost over. A year’s worth of changes, memories, dreams had unfolded in what felt like only a few moments.

I remember move-in day so vividly; I was so tan, and somehow, looking at photos of that day now, I feel like I had looked so much younger. More importantly, I was so afraid. I have always been apprehensive about change, nervous and wary of the unfamiliar, but simultaneously excited and joyful at the prospect of something new. Starting college was so exciting but so new. Everyone around me was new; I was in a new room, with a roommate; my classes and professors were different; my routines needed some time to take shape. Reflecting on it now, I see how quickly I actually did adjust.

By the end of that first week, I knew my favorite study spots on campus. I learned that sometimes, I had to ignore my friends and tuck myself away on the third floor of the academic center with a stack of textbooks and some snacks. Other times, I realized the importance of saying yes to spontaneous adventures big and small, of challenging myself to branch outside of my comfort zone and of letting homework wait until after that hiking trip or lunch date or long phone call.

Each month that I’ve been in college has been saturated with happy memories, nights where I felt alive with the joy of singing in a car or strolling under a star-lit campus. August meant figuring out how to navigate the world of college. I fell in love with my dorm room, the quiet moments in the sunshine while the rest of the girls on my floor were still sleeping; I fell in love with the professors I met, the opportunities they gave me, and the way I could spend hours and hours doing the things I love and people actually understood why.

As September came around I realized just how much there is to be happy about, especially at the Mount. From the kindness of the staff in the dining hall to the colors of the leaves beginning to change, throughout the fall, I found myself reflecting and becoming so much more grateful for the person I was becoming. Academically, I have become a stronger writer over the course of this year. Perhaps the most important thing I learned academically, though, was not to study thoroughly or to go to class every day or to write everything out; rather, it was learning to find passion in everything I do and learn.

There are so many ways to accomplish a simple task, and in college, you are encouraged to pursue your own path to success as well as to push yourself to discover what makes you light up with a spark of passion. For me, coming to college meant finally being surrounded by people who view writing as a legitimate field; I’ve had professors encourage me, hand me opportunities, and help me develop a voice.

This first year at the Mount has been an adventure, and I lived by the motto of doing one thing every day that made me truly happy. Sometimes this meant treating myself and a friend to an iced coffee in the middle of the afternoon. Sometimes, it meant chasing the sunset and waking up to see the sunrise. Sometimes, this meant watching a movie with my friends and sometimes it meant getting all dressed up and going out to a fancy dinner.

There were lots of conversations where some weird time jump happened, and suddenly it was 3 a.m. and I was laughing under the stars. There were early mornings. There were service trips, and corn mazes, and trips to downtown Frederick. There were fancy leadership dinners and opportunities to give back to the community. Somehow, amidst all of the busyness and chaos of to-do lists and adjustments and challenges, I found a new normal. I found people I can call my own. I learned to not only accept the person I am, but to be that person, genuinely, all of the time. I learned to take care of myself and that it is okay to take a break once in a while.

Thinking back across this year at the Mount, I can honestly say that this is my biggest lesson: I believe everything happens for a reason. Ending up here, on this beautiful campus, with the people and professors around me, happened for a reason. Every challenge and obstacle I’ve faced has made me stronger, bolder, and more confident in who I am. Every joy and celebration has allowed me to see how lucky I am to have a family that is so supportive and friends that are kind and willing to go exploring. Every amazing opportunity that I stumbled into or fought to earn is pushing me towards becoming the best version of myself.

Each paper, exam, and crossed-off to-do list item has let me see the value of balance and hard work. I could not be more grateful for the year I have had, and could not be any more excited for the next year here. I know that more excitement is to come, especially in a place like this where, looking back, I can find something magical and amazing in every single day. I’m still the same person I was that first day, but everything I am has evolved and shifted to reflect who I want to become.

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