Accepting yourself

Kaitlyn Marks
Class of 2021

(8/2018) Freshman year is so exciting but can also be daunting: a chance to start fresh, meet new people, learn a lot, and not just for classes, but about who you are and who you want to become. The most significant piece of advice I can give to a freshman is to embrace who you are, unabashedly. College encapsulates even more than you could imagine. There are sports, clubs for every interest and passion, service opportunities, and more. There are decisions to be made about parties, studying, and who you surround yourself with. These choices are not necessarily easy, but they certainly help define your freshman year experience.

In high school, there was so much pressure on individuals to "fit in" and be a part of the ‘in crowd’. Acceptance isn’t really a piece of anyone’s vocabulary, and if you’re at all different (which we all are, of course), it can be enormously challenging to overcome those social pressures. College is so different. In your time at college, you will unfortunately encounter people with that same ‘us vs. them’ mindset. However, for the most part, you will encounter people who are open, willing to listen, and excited to learn about who you are and what makes your passion spark.

Across the course of my freshman year, I slowly developed and built up my confidence. I learned that if someone didn’t like me, it spoke more to their character than mine. I started being much more open about my passions—the disability community, service to others, and writing. I ignored unfounded (and unwarranted) judgments about changing my major to English, and I embraced my 2018 goal of saying yes to more—opportunities, invites, and challenges. The best thing you can do during your freshman year is to abandon whatever preconceived notions you have about that year. It might not look the exact way you pictured or saw others experience. The people might not match what you thought they would. That is okay. Actually, it’s better than okay. The unexpected, surprising reality will probably end up being so much better than what you imagined.

During the summer following my freshman year I had the chance to experience possibly the best week of my life. I spent a week in July volunteering with an organization called Camp PALS. Camp PALS is a summer camp for young adults with Down Syndrome. These individuals are paired up one-on-one with a counselor and spend the week making new friends, going on trips, and learning about others. While I was at camp, I met so many people who taught me more about what I want in life, who I want to be, and how I can live my best life. When I return to school in the fall, I will be bringing those lessons with me. Overall, camp taught me that when you are accepted fully for who you are, magic comes to life. This starts with accepting yourself. Maybe you have a secret passion for cooking or writing. Try those things out! Perhaps you have always wanted to be an artist, but were discouraged by family members. Take an art class and let that passion blossom.

When I was at camp, I experienced abundant amounts of love and acceptance. Aside from teaching me the value of those things, I also learned what a difference love and acceptance make in creating transformative, impactful relationships. The friendships I made during that week are some of the best friendships I’ve made in my entire life. That leads me to another piece of advice: if a friendship seems great at first but then isn’t working out for you, it’s okay to cut it off. This might sound mean, but the biggest priority freshman year is for you to get comfortable being at school. Going to college warrants a huge adjustment. So many things will be different and new. Learning that it’s okay to prioritize yourself is a critical part of developing your confidence as well as finding that safe space within your freshman year.

Take chances this year. Talk to people outside of your comfort zone. Join clubs and organizations that matter to you. Do you really love to sing? Even if you think you’re bad at it, just sign up for something. Following your passions will take you to the best places, and you’ll discover infinite amounts about yourself. You might even find out that a career you’d never thought of could be your dream.

Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Professors are always willing to sit and chat with you about life, majors, stresses, classes, and everything in between. Particularly at a small school like the Mount, professors have open doors in terms of communication. If you are struggling in a class, seek out a tutor or visit your school’s writing center. Go to office hours. You aren’t paying for all of those services to go to waste! Further, if you want advice about something, you never know who might have a beneficial insight. During my freshman year, I was on the fence about certain leadership, professional, and service opportunities. It can be scary to jump headfirst into the unknown on a leap of faith, but that’s the thing that freshman year is all about—taking a leap, being bold, and being open to whatever amazing new things come your way. On the other hand, seek out the things you want. If you want a position writing professionally, apply until the right one comes along. If you want to study abroad at some point during college, start looking into opportunities and seeing where it will fit in schedule. During your freshman year, reflect often. I used a journal to do this, but for some people, it’s taking pictures or making videos. Capture the memories, especially pertaining to how you feel. With a time so exciting and new, be brave, be yourself, and be open-minded.

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