Friendship and love

Morgan Rooney
MSMU Class of 2020

"Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human." - Aristotle

(7/2020) While attending Mount St. Mary’s University, all students are required to take at least two philosophy courses. I was not fond of the idea at first, but now I believe they could be the most valuable courses I have ever taken. Even if you do not agree with a philosopher, it is only possible to disprove them by logic. This power we have to think like we do is something that is exclusively human. No other animal, to our knowledge, is able to do this in the same way as us.

This quote that I mentioned on the social nature of man is one that I will never forget. I sat in my classical philosophy class. It was not the happiest time of my life because I didn’t feel fulfilled with my college experience. I enjoyed the courses, but I lacked the social life I believed that I would have at that point in my life. As an introvert, I like to be alone, but being lonely is a much different experience.

The lesson we were going over in classical philosophy was on the purpose of a human and what makes man thrive. The point I remember was that quote exactly. Man is a social being by nature. But I do not think Aristotle was referring to friendly small talk and short encounters with others. I interpreted it as a human need for love and friendship, just as we have needs for food and water.

They say that friends are the family we choose. However, I don’t feel like my friends are people that I personally picked out like I would from a catalog. Choice certainly has an influence on how long and how deep the friendship is, but it is not how one sparks.

Each friendship I have has a different origin story. The first close friend I ever had, I met in second grade. We were in our PE class and needed to find a partner for a limbo competition. Both of us had a shy nature and were left without a partner, so we were paired together. Next we got in a line and were asked to hold hands. Once we got to the front, we did our best limbo and went to the back of the line. We didn’t come anywhere close to winning the contest, but that was the day that I met my best childhood friend. I don’t feel like I chose her. Instead, we wound up in that situation by our very natures.

With my other close friendships, there was something similar about us or how we felt. Some started with a common disliking for someone or something. I met a good friend in the 7th grade after I was put in a reading class because I was one point away from being commended on my state test. I was extremely irritated about it at the time, because it kept me from being able to start taking foreign language which was a great interest of mine.

When I was in this class, I quickly bonded with the girl who sat across from me over the fact that the teacher would snap at the students for such ridiculous reasons. She called me up to her desk one day to sign a paper and scolded me after I asked if I could use the pen on her desk. Another day she yelled about how I was unengaged and didn’t appreciate her class because I yawned (it was 8 a.m.). My new friend had similar experiences and we sparked a friendship over our deep want to get out of this class with such a high strung teacher.

I know this for certain: I didn’t choose my friends. I only chose to keep them.

I believe that friendship is the most powerful relationship you can have. Even if you’ve been married to your spouse for many years, without friendship it would have been a much bumpier road. When going to a family reunion, if you’re anything like me, you would end up spending more time around the family members that you enjoy and have fun with rather than the ones who don’t stop spewing out their opposing political views that you never asked about. You can see where the stronger friendships within your family are, even though you love and care about everybody.

While I was in college, I met someone who I would definitely consider to be my best friend, and that’s exactly how it started. After clicking at the very beginning, we quickly became close friends over similar interests and gradually grew closer over the past few years. I was always told that I should marry my best friend, and I am glad that time is finally approaching, even in the midst of a worldwide pandemic. With every friendship comes love, and with every love comes a friendship. Finding that special combination is extremely valuable and should not be given up. I would not change anything for the world.

As much as the romantic love that everyone knows is important, it is the friendship aspect of the relationship that keeps things going. After being uncertain about so many things for so long, it’s nice to finally have something that I’m sure about. I will always strive to strengthen our friendship, and I will live as long as I can with my best friend by my side.

Don’t forget to remember your friendships at the end of this month. Whether or not your friend is still with you or you’ve faded apart, they’ve helped to mold you into the person you are today. Wherever you are in life, you wouldn’t be the same person without your friends who help mold you into your unique self.

Read other articles by Morgan Rooney