Polishing myself

Morgan Rooney
MSMU Class of 2020

(1/2019) There are so many things I want to do in order to better my life and better the lives of those around me. I could pick 1,000 different resolutions, but I know that if I put the bar too high, I’ll certainly fail. With all of the distractions and important things a college student needs to do, it would be ridiculous to overwhelm myself even more than I already am. I believe baby steps can sometimes (not always) be the best way to achieve something. Things like breaking a habit, whether that be biting your nails and popping your knuckles are best done all at once with strong determination, yet breaking an addiction such as ingesting too much processed sugar or caffeine is better off done gradually, to reduce the intensity of withdrawals.

A lot of people I know also tell me they don’t believe in New Year's resolutions because of the fact that you can change any time, and it doesn’t have anything to do with switching from one year to another. I’d compare this to people who say they don’t believe in Valentine’s Day because you should show your significant other love every day. Sure, that is true, but there is also nothing wrong with setting a specific day to show more affection than usual. I know that for someone who attends the gym regularly, the swarms of new members for the month of January can be incredibly annoying considering that your favorite machine is taken, but it’s better to look around at all the people making an effort to change their lives with this small step, even if they are not good at following through with their plans.

I have multiple resolutions this year, but again, I try to keep the number to a minimum and keep them achievable. If they aren’t achievable, I would have a greater chance of becoming discouraged and giving up within just a few weeks (or days).

The first resolution would be that I want to start cooking more. As someone who already has to stay on a fairly strict diet for health reasons, I think that it’s important that I start cooking more and learning more about cooking. Not only is it healthier, but I think it could become a good hobby for me and would definitely pay off in the long run for the day I may have children. Now that I have an on-campus apartment, I have easier access to the equipment and space I need to cook. It’s a learned skill that one cannot be born with (at least I was cheated out of that skill), so the sooner, the better!

Secondly, I want to work hard on being nicer and friendlier to people. Not just when they are in the room, but especially when I am away from them. I don’t feel like I’m ever rude to people to their face (or I at least hope that I’m not, because that has never been my intention), but I am ashamed to admit that from time to time I will talk about other people in a negative way when they aren’t around. In my opinion, talking about people in a negative light when they are not present leads to nothing but hurt feelings and guilt. I do understand why people do this, as sometimes we all just feel the need to blow off steam and talk to someone about things that are bothering us (including other people), but instead we should take these frustrations out in other ways that do not have the potential to make anyone upset.

Friendliness goes along with that. As an introverted person, I know how uncomfortable it can be to go to a party and know no one there. I often end up using my phone as a technique to look less awkward at social events. You will rarely find me attending an event alone, and if you do, I must’ve mentally prepared myself to be there. I am very grateful when someone friendly comes along and starts up a conversation with me. I don’t necessarily not want to talk, I am often just uncomfortable putting myself out there. Small talk is much better than questions like "Are you tired?". "Do you not want to be here?", or "Are you just shy?" These questions are likely to make someone like me even more uncomfortable even if the person asking this has good intentions. I would love to be that person who can make someone feel more comfortable in these situations rather than making them feel worse about it. I know friendliness really has the power to make someone’s day.

My last resolution that I would like to work on this year is my stubbornness. Yes, me, alike many others can admit that they tend to be stubborn or overly defensive in certain ways. Someone may say something with no harm intended, but if I’m not in the mood for innocent teasing from friends, I definitely can take it the wrong way and throw a snappy, defensive line back at them. Nobody enjoys spending time with someone who can’t laugh at themselves or is too competitive. Sometimes, I should just take a step back and realize that no one meant anything bad by what they had said. Of course, if someone takes a joke too far, or ventures into a sensitive subject, communication is important and it’s crucial to talk to that person about what was said, but I also know that I shouldn’t take most things in life too seriously. Provoking people does not make anything better. Life is about enjoying the people around you, not being angry or judgmental all the time.

With enough determination, I would at least like to improve myself in these different ways. I don’t want to change who I am, but instead polish myself to be a better version of who I am that can bring more positive experiences to myself and the people around me, no matter what challenges face me in this coming year. I know it will be a long and difficult one, but I am only hoping that it will be one that is worth remembering.

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