(2/2019) Love is in the air this February, or at least
on the shelves of every store I’ve been to since
Christmas. The Valentine’s Day rush is impossible to
escape, as grocery stores plaster their shelves with
red-heart greeting cards, plastic roses, assorted
chocolates and stuffed animals. Jewelry stores advertise
the perfect sparkly gift, and restaurant reservation books
begin filling all their tables-for-two. As fun as these
little traditions are, the real charm of Valentine’s Day
is that it reminds us all to appreciate the loves in our
lives whom we take for granted.
As a child, I remember the excitement of Valentine’s
Day fondly, as my parents always tried to make it quirky
and fun. My mom would leave candies for me and my siblings
wrapped in red paper, and leave a note that said "I love
you!" for us before we left for school. Our dinner that
evening was sure to have something pink or heart-shaped. I
even remember one year when she used food coloring to
serve pink mashed potatoes! My father also pitched in to
make the day special, leaving roses for his daughters and
my mother around the house.
As silly as these things are, they filled my
Valentine’s Days with laughter and love. Of course, this
was not the romantic Valentine’s Day we see on television,
but it was a joyful one that I’m sure I will remember for
years to come. As a college student, my Valentine’s
celebrations have taken many forms. I remember my first
year of college, when my roommate and best friend left me
a hand-written note that said, "Will you be my Valentine?"
It brought a smile to my face, and filled me with
gratitude for our friendship. In the following years, a
significant other left me hand-drawn flowers, a beautiful
letter, and sometimes a movie or dinner date!
As my Valentine’s Days have transitioned from
family-centered, to friend-centered, to romantic (or even
all three at once!) I have found that what makes me
happiest on Valentine’s Day has not changed. It’s the
personal touches that bring joy to others, from pink
potatoes and hand-written notes to quality time spent with
our loved ones. It’s the time that we take to think about
what makes our loved ones smile, and the joy on their
faces when we hand over that thoughtful little gesture.
Of course, Valentine’s Day is just a small part of what
it takes to show love to a person, as love is much more
than thoughtful gestures and romantic outings. If I, with
only as much experience as I can claim after 21 years of
life, were to describe the best way to show love to
another person, I would divide it into three parts:
presence, prayer, and perseverance.
In family, friend, and romantic relationships, presence
is both the most difficult and one of the most important
components. In the world today, there are many different
distractions that drag us away from our relationships,
even the ones we cherish the most. It is difficult to
resist checking that smart phone, or scrolling through a
social media feed, and simply spend time with those we
love. Amid the obligatory pull of work, school, or various
other commitments, our friends and family remember the
moments we choose to make them the priority instead. As a
student, I continually have to remind myself that my work
will be there tomorrow, but the time to spend with a loved
one may not be. Being present in a noisy world is what
will keep our relationships strong.
The second is prayer. I truly believe in the importance
of praying for those whom we love, and keeping their needs
and struggles in our hearts. While some might say that
prayer is too passive a way to love someone, I think it is
the way we dedicate our relationships to God, and endeavor
to love as He loves. When loved ones struggle, sometimes I
find it difficult to realize that I am not the one who can
solve their problems. I, as much as I may wish it, do not
know what is best, even for my closest friends and family
members, and therefore turn my anxiety on their behalf
over to the one who does know, God. Praying for others is
important, whether or not they request your prayers.
Praying with others is still more powerful, and ensures
that the love shared comes from God, and looks to God for
its strength and continuity.
It is no secret that relationships of all sorts pose
their challenges. No person is perfect, try as we might,
and unfortunately our faults can cause others pain. This
is why perseverance is a vital component of love. When we
reduce love to a feel-good experience, we destine it to
failure, as no relationship can supply such constant
pleasure. Relationships of all sorts require the strength
to accept the faults of the other, and to be cognizant of
our own. This requires humility and forgiveness, and the
will to act in love even when we do not feel it.
Perseverant love will be full of struggles, both from
within and without, but if it is rooted in God, the
difficulties can cause the relationship not only to
survive but to flourish.
Love is what makes us who we are as people, and it is
the quality that unites us most to God. Of all the things
in life, love, in its many forms, is what will make it
most rich and most worthwhile. This year, I hope I will be
able to reciprocate the wonderful love I have received
from friends, family and loved ones, both on Valentine’s
Day and every day of the year. I hope to bring smiles to
their faces, as they have done to me so many countless
times, and to remind them, with my prayer, presence and
perseverance, that they are truly loved and appreciated.
