Here’s the plan: there is no plan

Shea Rowell
Class of 2019

(9/2018) As I begin my last year of college, I am forced to answer the question every soon-to-be-graduate must face: what are you going to do after you graduate? These well-wishers are only curious to see how I—and all of the others in my situation—are going to make the last four years of work, studying, and tuition payments worth their while. They are looking, I assume, for a very specific answer. Some will be attending graduate school, others joining volunteer corps, most taking their first steps into the workforce, preferably in a job that relates somehow to their degrees.

Having a plan, specific goals, and a destination in mind is important when going through college. However, if I have learned anything about life in my four years here, it is that the world likes to throw curveballs. Even the best-laid plans of a 22-year-old college student, believe it or not, guarantee nothing in the end. The finest efforts and the most thorough preparation cannot, and indeed should not, narrow one’s life into only one path. The best paths, I have found, are the ones we stumble upon somewhat accidentally.

I am not advocating aimless wandering or laziness of any sort—in fact, quite the opposite. Living life with an open-minded perspective doesn’t lead to apathy, but adventure. One of the main reasons I chose Mount St. Mary’s University three years ago was that the Mount understands the importance of developing a person in his or her fullness, building the intellectual, social, emotional, spiritual, and physical wellbeing of each student, instead of treating each like a commodity whose only value is its economic contribution. Such programs exist, and students cannot stray far from their chosen paths: setting and achieving goals is paramount, and speed and efficiency are vital. At the Mount, unlike many schools my peers have found themselves attending, the ultimate challenge is not to earn the highest GPA or to achieve prestigious postgraduate career placement (although the Mount excels at this, too!), but to become the best version of yourself.

This is, and has always been, my personal goal throughout college, and this perspective impacts each decision I make. When I chose my majors –English and music—I decided to follow my heart. I chose two majors, neither of which have a direct career path ahead of them. Nevertheless, I have found great fulfillment and growth through each. In my English classes, we study the fine art of communication, the mechanics of writing, and, most importantly, the common experiences of humanity. We read the stories of those whose lives are nothing like our own, whose thoughts stretch the boundaries of our own minds, and draw us out of the limitations of our own experiences. We discuss, and often disagree, about the significance of details in each text, and learn to appreciate the perspectives of others, even if they conflict with our own. We learn about human history through the intimate lens of a human writer, and inevitably imagine where we belong in the narrative.

In music classes, I have struggled to identify the components of sonatas and fugues, learned the favorite techniques of Mozart and Beethoven and Stravinsky, memorized common chord progressions and the notes in an E natural minor scale. Believe me when I say that music theory is complicated and challenges the mind to analyze on paper what was meant to be heard, not seen. But despite all the difficult memorization, complex analysis, and carefully-constructed musical timelines, the most fruitful musical experience for me has been performing.

At the Mount, I play in the Wind Ensemble, I take private lessons with a professional instructor, and, whenever possible, I play with regional ensembles in Frederick. These experiences have taught me, more than anything, accountability. In private lessons, I am the only member of the Mount’s "trumpet studio." Therefore, I have no one with whom to compete, no one to keep me accountable for putting in practice hours outside of class. I have to be my own source of motivation. Occasionally, I have failed to put forth the effort necessary to progress. But these failures, as well as the successes, have taught me that if I want to succeed I have to fight for it—for myself. In the ensemble setting, I have learned accountability because there are others depending on me, as I depend on others, to produce the musical product we aim for. Each member, especially in a group as small as ours, is vitally important. If I don’t put forth the effort required to perform well, I insult the efforts of my classmates, and ultimately let them down.

There are many other college decisions that will impact my life, even if I don’t yet know exactly how. As a student worker at the Mount’s Career Center, I have learned how to represent myself and the school in a professional manner, and have met wonderful mentors who will guide me as I enter the workforce. The Mount has given me ample opportunity to practice leadership, as a section leader in the Wind Ensemble, the president of Mount Music Society, the Editor-in-Chief of Moorings Liberal Arts Journal, and even as the Managing Editor of this newspaper! If I continue, as I have endeavored to do for the past three years, to use these opportunities to make a better person of myself – a better writer, a better leader, a better friend – I am sure I will find myself on the right path, even if I cannot see it yet.

My goal, then, for my senior year, is to make the most of everything that comes my way, and to take the opportunities that will help me to improve myself. Sorry to disappoint, but these choices are not aimed at any specific career or post-graduate plan. With my faith to guide me, and a whole lot of work ahead of me, I look forward to seeing how each element of my past converges into a present and a future. In the meantime, all I can do is my best.

Read other articles by Shea Rowell