Mary Angel

(3/2019) A lot of my mom friends have asked this question, "Is Snapchat and Evil App?" The answer to the question is obviously no, but is it really that simple? Again the answer is no. Boy would this be an easy test. I am being a little funny, but this is a very serious matter.

The app itself is not inherently evil but what the app encourages, allows, and makes possible is. Please don’t misunderstand; this is not the most dangerous of the apps. This is, however, a very accessible and inappropriate app where the content that people post disappears after it is viewed. It has a ton of appeal to the kids nowadays. There are group chats, filters, and streaks. According to my kids and their friends there are no other apps that they can use to group chat like this one. The streaks are what my older two loved when they were first introduced to the app. As long as they have contact back and forth on a daily basis with another person (In my lingo it would be equivalent to texting back and forth) the app tracks the number of days in a row this happens. The filters can change the look of a person’s face, i.e. make them into a bunny rabbit or a squirrel. Again, let’s not forget the argument from the kids that there is no app like this one.

Here is the truth from my perspective. There are plenty of apps that have filters. There are actually apps that are nothing but filters. The group chat argument is a little ridiculous since you can have a group chat on basic texting. There are also apps specific to group chats like GroupMe. This app, in particular, is great if you are part of a large group (from say a summer camp, missions trip, or other wide spread group) who would like to stay in touch. Please keep in mind, though, that it is still a social media app and can easily be used for negative reasons. The one plus over Snapchat is that what is posted doesn’t disappear after it is viewed. There is almost nothing that encourages bad behavior in teenagers than the promise that what they say or do will disappear forever (or does it?).

Of all of the times I have heard about boys requesting inappropriate pictures from a girl or boys and girls sending inappropriate pictures of themselves, it has never been through regular texting or an app that retains information. These requests have only been made through apps whose information disappears when viewed or apps that promise anonymity. I would say that at least 50% of the boys my daughter has friended on Snapchat have either sent her inappropriate pictures or have requested them from her. Of, course you can block and unfriend people but not before you have been caught off guard and discovered someone’s true core. I don’t want to discriminate so let me also mention that this app has allowed, dare I say encouraged, many girls to send catty, witchy, bullying comments to my daughter and her friends. When all she had was regular texting she never received these negative comments, inappropriate requests, and appalling pictures. The kids today are smart enough to know which apps have a permanent record and which don’t and guess where they choose to misbehave?

Again, Snapchat hasn’t cornered the market as an inappropriate app, there are way worse. For example, the app Lipsi – anonymous messaging – is an app that allows texting without anyone knowing who you are. You can tell someone they are beautiful or that they are the most useless, ugliest person on the planet and they will never know who it is coming from. When my daughter, briefly, had this app she loved it at the beginning. She would have people tell her how pretty she looked, that they loved a sweater she was wearing, or maybe even that they saw her in the hall and she seemed a little down and then give her words of encouragement. Although it was an anonymous app eventually the person with the sweet comment would come forward in person. Then it turned ugly, someone proceeded to tear her up and explain to her what a horrible person she was, how ugly she was, ultimately how she was a waste of a human being. There is nothing good or productive about an app that allows you to destroy another human being (especially without coming face to face with them), nor is there anything redeeming about an app that allows you to behave inappropriately with the comfort of knowing what you have said or done will disappear after it is viewed.

I have done some research into Snapchat and have become aware that they rolled out an anti-bullying campaign a while back. This is, in general, a good thing for any company. However, if they aren’t changing what makes them appealing to bad behavior and are still making it so easy then how are they really against bullying? According to the kids I have spoken to, yes you can report someone on Snapchat and they are removed temporarily, but then they are back on again. This cycle apparently can go on and on.

Part of the problem is us, their parents, and our lack of parenting. Yes, I am including myself in this. I never checked my daughter’s phone frequently enough, whether it be because I didn’t want to invade her privacy or I was just clueless. I also didn’t make her immediately delete the app when the first request for pictures of her "curves" came across her phone. The reasons don’t matter. She no longer has Lipsi or Snapchat and it is amazing the amount of stress and anxiety that have left her. Please understand that our teenagers are just that…teenagers, children! If they want privacy they will have plenty of it when they are grown and out of the house. So far when my daughter doesn’t want me to see her phone it has been because of some silly little girl reason, but I am still going to ask and still going to look. If your child truly doesn’t want you on their phone or in their room, maybe it is because they are doing something wrong. I also want to encourage you to talk with other parents and ask them to keep you informed about your child and tell them you will do the same. If we are all in this together then we can fix the problem.

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