Mary Angel

(6/2019) What are we teaching our children? Let’s face facts, whether we like it or not, children do as they see. This little tidbit doesn’t end when they are out of diapers, become a preteen, start to drive, or enter the years of "mom and dad know nothing". So even if we would like to do whatever we want, it is in our best interest to remember they are sponges and they are always watching. That sounds a little creepy, but you get the point.

I will never forget a time oh so long ago when I only had one child and he was not quite 18 months old. As my mother-in-law was getting out of the van, this woman who never cursed smashed her finger in the door. Without hesitation the word "shit" came out of her mouth, immediately followed by this little innocent voice in the backseat singing an entire chorus of "s**t, s**t, s**t", much to her dismay. I was suddenly torn between being horrified, correcting my son, and laughing my butt off. I, of course, chose all three. This same child when he was a bit younger used to lower his head and glare at us by looking out of the top of his eyes (Google Kubrick stare and you might get the picture). We thought it was adorable and a little strange. In actuality we wondered what he was doing, until one night at the dinner table when he was misbehaving and my husband gave him the same look with an air of "knock it off, goofball" attached to it. Our son did the stare right back at him and we all burst out laughing.

There are so many things, good and bad, that our kids pick up from us. My youngest loves to cook. That most definitely came from her father the chef. Her love of baking on the other hand came from me. Baking, my husband says, is too scientific. Several of my kids love to draw and do art projects, definitely mine! They all hate to do dishes…well sometimes they can pick things up from both of you. Unfortunately for me my girls seem to have picked up my sarcastic wit. Thank goodness none of them have picked up my mom’s habit of calling bad drivers…"You Boob"!

They can also pick up stuff from their knuckle headed friends. This can be in the form of mimicking what they see and hear or in the form of peer pressure. Either on can be bad, but peer pressure tends to be things they don’t want to do but feel they must. Drugs and under aged drinking can fall into either of these categories. Unfortunately, I am shocked at how many of my sons friends do this. On a side note I am blessed that he shares all of this with me even though I sometimes don’t think I can hear another word.

Another area that can be riddled with bad habits that are picked up is driving. If you talk or text while you drive then why would your children think they shouldn’t. If you tail gate, run stop signs, or drive aggressively then why wouldn’t they. Most of you know that I drive many kids to high school and I am appalled at the number of kids who are doing all of these things and more. They are passing on the double yellow line, and on a blind curve; racing down a narrow road at more than 20 miles over the speed limit; allowing friends to sit on their roof while they drive. We need to set good examples, but we also need to talk to our kids about the bad examples that are all around them.

Please understand, in my house I am famous for being surrounded by the craziest drivers, but when they are kids I just can’t help but get more upset than usual. I don’t take these things lightly. Some examples of the craziness would be the tractor trailer that passed me on the should coming out of Taneytown on 194 headed to Littlestown because I was doing the 30 mile an hour speed limit, or the young girl who got frustrated that I was letting the handicapped elderly man cross the McDonald’s parking lot so she tore around me (avoiding him thank God) and cut me off to get into the drive through ahead of me, or the man that cut me off in Westminster and then swerved into traffic around the guy in front of me who was making a left only to scream at me when I got to the same stop sign as him because I was making a right (from the right turn lane) and I guess that blocked his view to make a left (in the long line of bumper to bumper traffic). So when I tell you I have seen it all I really do mean it!

The moral of the story is be careful what you say and do because you never know who is watching or what they might pick up. The truth is we all have those habits and behaviors that we would never want our kids to emulate and there is no day like today to start working on them and working on ourselves. So whether it be bad driving habits, smoking, drinking, or drug habits, bad language, or a terrible knack for sarcasm like myself, let’s all agree we have room for improvement.

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