Mary Angel

(8/2020) This past week, I reflected on the name of my articles in this paper, "Mom's Time Out." I was thinking about what that meant to me and how this meaning has changed because of recent events. In the past, I have written on topics that I felt would share the wisdom I have acquired from experience and my own mistakes during parenting. I have told silly stories of my family's screw-ups to encourage other moms and give them a laugh. Now, I find I have a different motivation.

This month, as I contemplate needing a time out and what that means, I am a little more melancholy. This month, I want other moms to know that it is alright not always being the peppy one, the encourager, or happy. There are times in our lives when things aren't good. They aren't the way we would like them to be. Ever since coronacation (a catchy little name my family uses to lighten the mood) has started, things are not always going the way I would like.

In the beginning, I embraced the "mandatory" family time. I would go so far as to say I loved the fact that my kids, even the adult ones, were forced to stay home and participate in family game nights and dinners. We have always done these things, but lately, everyone has been a bit busier. In the beginning, my whole family welcomed the opportunity to slow down and enjoy each other more. Then reality set in.

We are now into the seventeenth week of my husband's furlough and the fifteenth week of my termination. During this time we have had to have the vet out three times for injured pets, someone hacked one of my accounts, our well has shut off about every other week or so because the pump is going bad, we have one mattress with the springs popping out and a newer one with a dent straight down the middle, the computer ate some more important documents, my son failed a college class because our internet is so bad he couldn't do livestream participation or upload videos, my daughter's iPhone locked her out on her birthday (which became way more of a headache than it should have been), my husband has been having major PVCs, screwed up unemployment application and every time I try to fix it I get an error message. Both the dog and cat are throwing up on what seems to be an unexplained schedule, transmission issues, teeth problems, broken toe, and way too many clogged toilets to count. I am feeling defeated and sad on any given day.

However, my intention is not to depress anyone who reads this but to let you know it is okay. It is okay to have a bad day, to be upset, or sad. There is no more important life lesson than to teach our children that there will be bad days, or bad months, or bad seasons in life. We live in a broken world, and the sad, bad, and mad are all facts of life. I have to remind myself to only be a visitor in the tragic part of my brain and not a resident.

What do I mean by this? I mean, we all have bad days and get sad some of the time. It is just essential to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and move on. When you stay sad too long, you end up depressed. For some people, it is out of their control, but for others, it isn't.

Take heart and take inventory of the positives, the blessings in your life. When our water goes out, I get mad, sad, and frustrated, and then I remind myself that we have a roof over our heads. When my husband's furlough is extended, again and again, I get more upset with each additional month, before I remind myself that I have a wonderful family and losing our house won't change that (although my parents have insisted if we were to have to sell the house we must put it in the contract that they are included in the sale).

Some days and events make positive thinking a lot easier than others, but my only two choices (from my perspective) are to become depressed or convince myself there are way more positives than negatives in my life right now. I will admit, lately, it has been a little harder than usual to beat the blues, but I have to keep pushing forward. It doesn't hurt to have positive, supportive people in your life. For my 50th birthday, my best friend lined my driveway with 50 words she would use to describe me, or a just-turned 16-year-old who offered to help with the mortgage. Both made me cry tears of joy.

I want to encourage all of you to reach out to a friend or a neighbor and send them a 'thinking of you' card to brighten their day. If you are the one who needs encouragement or cheering, do not hesitate to reach out to one of your friends and talk to them. You would be amazed at how therapeutic a good gab session can be with a friend. Someone has been where you are and come out on the other side, stronger for having gone through the trial.

The bottom line is that it is perfectly fine to feel down when you have had a bad week, just don't let the sadness get the best of you. As the song goes on my son's favorite ride at Walt Disney World, "There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day."

Mask Up, and I will see you in the great big beautiful tomorrow!

Read other articles by Mary Angel