Mary Angel

(5/2021) No matter how many years I have been a mom, there are still things for me to learn. When they were babies, the learning curve involved diapers, rashes, and food allergies. When they were in elementary school, the challenges involved math, science, and friends. Then they entered middle school and I need say no more. In high school they are teenagers and working on becoming adults. At this stage the learning curve is about puberty, dating, and grades. When they get into college. everything is simple and the learning curve is over…right?

WRONG (insert evil laugh)! The first thing I learned in the college years is that there is no way to be prepared for college. My kids (so far) have all taken AP courses, which are supposed to be college level classes. Although they are more challenging, cover more information, and move at a quicker pace, they are still high school classes. Nothing my kids could have done leading up to college could have prepared them for the academic challenges of college. I have talked to my kids’ friends as well and they agreed. It took all of them at least a semester (sometimes two) to get into the swing of things. The moral of this lesson is to not be disappointed if their grades are similar to what they were in high school; it will get better.

The second thing I learned was that the old learning curves don’t all disappear when they start college. The child who struggled with math in high school might struggle even more with math in college. The child who hates reading in high school isn’t going to suddenly call you and tell you all about War and Peace and how much they loved the last chapter. My hope is that they each do their best in these challenges they face. Well, maybe I also hope they pass that math class that is a thorn in their side.

Some of the other lessons are college prep lessons. When your child has their heart set on a specific college and nothing is going to deter them from that laser focus, make sure they know more about the college than what they see on the college’s website. When my son was in high school. a college representative came and talked about a scholarship that was a full ride if you were majoring in education. Later we found out that it wasn’t quite a full ride, but pretty close. Still later, we toured the campus. The campus was located in the middle of nowhere and very institutional-looking according to my son. After the tour we spoke to someone in financial aid only to find out the scholarship was still in the planning stages and they didn’t know if it was going to happen at all.

Fast forward about two years and that same son is getting ready to finish at community college. He once again has his heart set on a college, this time in Virginia, and nothing can change his mind. I should probably explain that my son’s method of finding a college is a four-step process. First he looks at the gallery of pictures on each of their websites and waits to be enchanted. After he is enchanted by the pictures, then he checks to see if they offer his major (a little backwards, I know). The third step in the process is applying to the college that meets the first two criteria. Lastly, he prays that he gets accepted and that he will get enough scholarships to make it possible. Did you notice that nowhere in his process is going to tour the school? That is yet another lesson that I learned. If there is one thing I would beg you to do, go and tour colleges. Tour as many colleges as you can, because you never know when there will be that "aha" moment.

The rest of the story is that a week before my son had to commit to a college (to guarantee housing) he went to tour that dream school. As he drove there with my husband he started to realize that it was much further than he thought or intended to go. When they arrived he quickly noticed that the pictures he saw online were not quite an accurate picture of his dream school. The disappointment grew and grew as the trip continued. With only a week to turn in a deposit, he was no longer going to his "dream" school but instead was looking for a new dream. At this point we all regretted not touring more schools. We are now planning some extremely quick road trips to 3 other schools that were high on his list. These will not be those Hallmark Channel trips that are planned and magical, but rather "hold onto your hat" kind of trips.

As I finish writing this, my son and husband are on their way back from the "dream" school and I am getting ready to check mileage and maps to see what the next week holds for us. So, once again I encourage you to tour as many schools as you can and as early as you can. Never forget that the learning curve when you have kids is large and ongoing. Whether it is diapers, puberty, dating, or college there is no end to the choices, education, and challenges you will face when you are raising kids. Luckily, all of those challenges come with a ton of smiles, laughs, joy, and love. Hold on tight - it is a crazy ride!

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