Mary Angel

(8/2022) Through the years I have met a lot of moms, some were the mom type and some who wanted to be more of a friend than a mom. There can be a bit of a grey line between being a mom and being a friend, but you should never forget that being a mom is a special honor and blessing.

Over the years I have followed a long-standing rule of not being my child’s friend as much as being their mom. This is especially true when they are young and need discipline. Although this may be the time when the line between the two is least important. Afterall, when kids are young a huge part of being a mom is playing games. It really is a three-part division of play, discipline, and care. Leave one out and you are doing your child a great disservice.

As our children grow up in life, they will have more friends than they can count. They will have friends that come and go and those they remain "besties" with for the rest of their lives. They will only have one mom, who will guide them and help them grow and develop. The mom’s role is so very important, and I have always worried if we were more friends than mother-daughter, then the lines would be blurred. Don’t misunderstand we have done a lot of friend activities, but I avoided many of the more questionable or should I say illegal.

There are a few hard and fast rules that I do not cross. I do not party with my kids. What I mean by that is I do not drink with my kids, nor do I buy them alcohol. I am not talking about those parents who have let their kids take a tiny sip of their wine. I am talking about buying alcohol for minors to party with. I am talking about buying and sharing marijuana with your kids. I am never going to be that parent. Once again, I believe they have enough friends who will encourage them to do crazy and stupid things. They need someone who will support them after they have done something irresponsible. They need someone who will love them no matter what and show them that we all make mistakes, and there can be a redemption story in each of those mistakes.

There are a few exceptions or loopholes to the rule. In other words, it is okay to let your hair down and have an all-out fun time. My girls and I have gone on several girl’s weekends. We order take out (or more recently door dash), go shopping, binge watch Rom Coms in the hotel; enjoy the hotel pool (in the winter, definitely), etc. When we are home, we also have music parties in the pool, binge watch Castle, and have sleepovers in the living room. I would recommend taking long drives and listening to their music (it might actually grow on you). We have had some of our most enlightening conversation while listening to Bruno Mars. My girls have told me big secrets about themselves, friends, and love over many Ed Sheeran songs. Adele usually leads to them coming clean about any and all mistakes they have made or things they have been scared to tell me.

I would suggest you try singing along to some of those songs. Trust me your girls will especially appreciate you belting out a few tunes. While you’re at it, when they ask if you would be willing to do a Tik Tok, just say yes. Take my advice, embrace the silly. It turns out that a mom who has no coordination and no dancing ability whatsoever, can actually be trendy (or trending, I’m not sure what the difference is). A little warning from me to you don’t injure yourself trying those Tik Tok moves. Another little mom disclaimer, listen to the words of the songs. I can’t get over how many songs I listened to as a child and now when I hear them the lyrics are a bit shocking. I would never want my mom, even at my age to come up to me and say, "The girls showed me your Tik Tok video, and I can’t believe you sang those lyrics".

There are a few hard and fast rules that I do not cross. I do not party with my kids. What I mean by that is I do not drink alcohol with my kids, nor do I buy them alcohol. I am not talking about those parents who have let their kids take a tiny sip of their wine. I am talking about buying alcohol for minors to party with. I am talking about buying and sharing marijuana with your kids. I am never going to be that parent. Once again, I believe they have enough friends who will encourage them to do both crazy and stupid things. They need someone who will support them after they have done something irresponsible. They need someone who will love them no matter what and show them that we all make mistakes, and there can be a redemption story in each of those mistakes.

I would suggest that you remember how much your kids need you to be their mom. Being a mom doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with your kids, it’s just a different kind of fun. Being a mom means being there when your kids need to cry or laugh. The great thing about being a mom, is that if you can teach them, and guide them, and yes even discipline the as they are growing up, then when they are adults with kids of their own you can have an amazing friendship that you will both appreciate so much more. Enjoy each stage of their lives as they go by too quickly!

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