Bill Derbyshire
The holiday season is time for relaxing with
family and friends, a time to follow family
traditions and a time to be thankful for what you
have. Unfortunately, all too often families become
overwhelmed and stressed during the holiday
season.
Several reasons come to mind as to why the
holidays can become the "holiday blues,"
For some families the holidays represent past
memories of family gatherings when relationships
were strained or when family members have been
disrespectful and harmful. In some families
parents work too hard to please relatives and
friends by sacrificing their relaxing time in
order to keep to the schedules of others. In some
families the extra expense of purchasing gifts and
food creates a financial stress. In many families
the holidays bring up memories of those joyous
times with family members who have since died,
creating feelings of loneliness. It is unfortunate
that at a time when families are supposed to relax
and enjoy one another it can be so stressful that
families forget the meaning of the holiday season.
Let me offer some suggestions on how to manage
this stress. Be bold enough to change a holiday
tradition if that tradition in the past has
created too much stress. If other family members
disagree, be clear with them as to why you need to
make the change and ask for their support. Don’t
over-schedule yourself and your family. Think
quality of time, not quantity. Your children and
spouse will enjoy the time being together.
Moderate your use of alcohol. The holiday season
can be a very emotional time and over-indulging in
alcohol at this time is often a formula for family
arguments and conflict.
Be realistic with yourself and loved ones about
what you can afford to purchase. Start now to
budget for gifts and if you know the budget will
not allow you to purchase gifts that children are
wanting, begin to talk with them now. Become
creative with your gift giving, i.e. making a
craft, writing a meaningful message or poem and
framing it, spending special time with someone,
cooking one’s favorite food and freezing it or a
card that lets the person know what you appreciate
about them. These gifts truly have more meaning.
Try to integrate your past holiday joys with
the present. I am sure the loved ones who are no
longer living would want you to create joy with
your loved ones who are with you now. Don’t let
your past replace the present. As some wise person
has stated: " What we have today is a gift,
that’s why it is called the present."
Remember that the holiday season is a time to
let loved ones and others know how much you care
and appreciate them. It is not about how many
gifts you give or receive.
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