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More church
bulletin bloopers:
- Bertha Belch, a missionary
from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial
Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the
way from Africa.
- Announcement in the church
bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference:
"The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer
conference includes meals."
- Our youth basketball team is
back in action Wednesday at 8 pm in the recreation hall.
Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
- Miss Charlene Mason sang
"I will not pass this way again" giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
- "Ladies, don't forget
the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things
not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your
husbands."
- The peacemaking meeting
scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
- The sermon this morning:
"Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight:
"Searching for Jesus"
- Next Thursday there will be
tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
- Remember in prayer the many
who are sick of our community.
- Smile at someone who is hard
to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care
much about you.
- Don't let worry kill you off
--let the Church help.
- Irving Benson and Jessie
Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a
friendship that began in their school days.
- A bean supper will be held
on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
- The senior choir invites any
member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the
choir.
Submitted by Neil, Kennett,
Square, Pa.
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Jokes, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
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We all know that
water is important but . . .
- 75% of Americans are
chronically dehydrated.
- In 37% of Americans, the
thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for
hunger.
- Even MILD dehydration will
slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.
- One glass of water shuts
down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters
studied in a U-Washington study.
- Lack of water is the #1
trigger of daytime fatigue.
- Preliminary research
indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could
significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of
sufferers.
- A mere 2% drop in body water
can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic
math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a
printed page.
- Drinking 5 glasses of water
daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can
slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less
likely to develop bladder cancer.
- Are you drinking the amount
of water you should every day?
Submitted by Brian, Idaho
Falls, Id.
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of Interesting Facts, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
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Not so long ago...
- An application was for
employment A program was a TV show
- A cursor used profanity A
keyboard was a piano!
- Memory was something that
you lost with age A CD was a bank account
- And if you had a 3 1/2 inch
floppy you hoped nobody found out!
- Compress was something you
did to garbage not something you did to a file.
- And if you unzipped anything
in public You'd be in jail for awhile!
- Log on was adding wood to a
fire Hard drive was a long trip on the road
- A mouse pad was where a
mouse lived and a backup happened to your commode!
- Cut - you did with a pocket
knife Paste you did with glue
- A web was a spider's home
and a virus was the flu!
- I guess I'll stick to my pad
and paper And the memory in my head
- I hear nobody's been killed
in a computer crash but when it happens they wish they were
dead!
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Sister's Jokes,
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