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One Sunday a cowboy went to
church.
When he entered, he saw
that he and the preacher were the only ones present.
The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted
him to go ahead and preach.
The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but
if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."
So the minister began his sermon.
One hour passed, then two hours, then
two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down
to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon.
The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not
very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed
up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay."
Submitted by Merry ...
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Jokes, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
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Let's see how good you are on
"COMMON KNOWLEDGE".
No cheating! No looking around;
no using anything on or in your desk. Can you beat 18? (The
average.) Write down your answers and check the answers (which
are on the bottom of e-mail) after completing all the questions.
And remember ... No Cheating!
- On a standard traffic light,
is the green on the top or bottom?
- How
many states are there? (Don't laugh, some people don't know)
- In which hand is the Statue
of Liberty's torch?
- What 6 colors are on the
classic Campbell's soup label?
- What 2 letters don't appear
on the telephone dial? (No cheating!)
- What 2 numbers on the
telephone dial don't have letters by them?
- When you walk does your left
arm swing w/your right or left leg?
- How many matches are in a
standard pack [cardboard flip top]?
- On the United States flag is
the top stripe red or white?
- What is the lowest number on
the FM dial?
- Which way does water go down
the drain in the US, counter or clockwise?
- Which way does a "no
smoking" sign's slash run?
- How many channels on a VHF
TV dial?
- Which side of a women's
blouse are the buttons on?
- On a NY license plate, is
New York on the top or bottom?
- Which way do fans rotate?
- Whose
face is on a dime?
- How many sides does a stop
sign have?
- Do books have even-numbered
pages on the right or left side?
- How many lug nuts are on a
standard car wheel?
- How many sides are there on
a standard pencil?
- Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy,
Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
- How many hot dog buns are in
a standard package?
- On which playing card is the
cardmaker's trademark?
- On which side of a Venetian
blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the
slats?
- On the back of a $1 bill,
what is in the center?
- There are 12 buttons on a
touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
- How many curves are there in
the standard paper clip?
- Does a merry-go-round turn
counter or clockwise?
Submitted by Larry,
Walkersville, Md.
Answers:
- Bottom
- 50 (please tell me you at
least got this one!)
- Right
- Blue, red, white, yellow,
black, and gold
- Q Z
- 1 and 0
- Right
- 20
- Red
- 88
- Counter (unless you happen
to be south of the equator)
- Towards bottom right
- 12 (no #1)
- Left
- Top
- Clockwise as you look at it
- Roosevelt
- 8
- Left
- 5
- 6
- Bashful
- 8
- Did you notice there wasn't
one?
- Ace of spades
- Left
- ONE
- *, #
- 3
- Counter
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Senator Narrowly Escapes
Wreck ...
The Associated Press reports that New York
junior Senator Hillary Clinton narrowly escaped injury in the
aircraft that she was piloting when she was forced to make an
emergency landing in Southern Texas because of bad weather.
National Transportation Safety Board officials have issued a
preliminary determination that pilot error contributed to the
accident, and that the senator was flying in IFR conditions while
only having obtained a VFR, single engine land rating. The absence
of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board.
No one on the ground was injured. Pictures taken at the scene show
the extent of damage to Senator Clinton's aircraft.
See Picture of Wreckage Below!!!
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July
26th Humor Page |
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