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A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively
mischievous.
They were always getting into trouble and
their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town,
their sons were probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in
town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if
he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to
see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old in first
that morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the
afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming
voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is
God?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made
no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide eyed.
So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone,
"Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the
clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the
boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room,
ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door
behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he
asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath,
replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing -
and they think WE did it.!"
Submitted by Debbie, Middletown, Md.
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Sayings, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
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A woman walks into the downtown
welfare office, trailed by 15 kids.
"WOW," the social worker
exclaims, "Are they All Yours?"
"Yes' am they is all mine,"
the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand
times before.
She says, "Sit down Leroy." All the
children rush to find seats.
"Well," says the social worker, "then you
must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names."
"This one's my oldest--he is Leroy."
"OK, and who's next?"
"Well, this one he is Leroy, also."
The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one,
through the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy. Then she is
introduced to the eldest girl, named Leigh Roy!
"All right," says the caseworker, "I'm
seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Leroy?"
Their Momma replied, "Well, yes! It make
it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for
school, I yells, 'Leroy!' An' when it's time for dinner, I just
yell 'Leroy!' an' they all comes a runnin.' And if I need to stop
the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Leroy' and all
of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all
Leroy."
The social worker thinks this over for a
bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, "But what if
you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?"
"Ah, that's so easy," said the momma.
"Then I jest call them by their last names."
Submitted by Bill, Narberth, Pa.
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Un-Categorizable Jokes, My Little
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A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in South Louisiana recently
... ...
with two ice chests of fish,
leaving a bayou well known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, "Do you
have a license to catch those fish?"
"Naw, ma fren, I ain't got none of dem,
no. Dese here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Ya. Avery night I take dese here fish
down to de bayou and let dem swim 'round for a while. Den I
whistle and dey jump rat back inta dis here ice chest and I take
dem home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do
that!"
The Cajun looked at the game warden for a
moment and then said, "It's de truth ma' fren. I'll show you. It
really works."
"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"
The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou
and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the game warden
turned to him and said,"Well?"
"Well, what?" Said the Cajun.
"When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH!"
"What fish?"
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How real me water-ski ...
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May 10th Humor Page
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