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Ten signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker
- You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.
- He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three years running.
- When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.
- Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.
- Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work.
- Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net"
- Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments.
- Video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons
- When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President."
- You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, jerk."
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I went to the US Patent Office yesterday trying to register some of my inventions.
I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out.
She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.
I said, "A folding bottle."
She said, "Okay, what do you call it?"
A Fottle", I replied.
What else do you have?"
A folding carton."
What do you call it?"
A Farton."
She snickered and said,
"Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude."
I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without telling her about my folding bucket.
Submitted by Larry, Walkersville, MD.
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A driver of a huge trailer lost control and plowed into an empty tollbooth , smashing it to pieces.
He climbed down from the wreckage and within a matter of minutes, a truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers.
The men picked up each broken piece of the former tollbooth and spread some kind of creamy substance on it. Then they began fitting the pieces together. In less than a half hour, they had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and looking good as new.
"Astonishing!" the truck driver said to the crew chief. "What was the white stuff you used to get all the pieces together?"
The crew chief said, "Oh, that was tollgate booth paste."
Submitted by Audrey, Emmitsburg, Md.
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![[]](../../../pictures/2005/ATT00071.jpg)
Submitted by Bill, Narberth, Pa.
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