... said he had never failed a single student before but had, once, failed an entire class. The majority of that class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer. The professor then said ok, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism.

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• Charles Dickens was an insomniac. He believed he had the best chance of getting some sleep if he positioned himself exactly in the middle of the bed which must at all times be pointed in a northerly direction.
• The actor Stewart Granger, changed his name because didn't like his real name. James Stewart.
• William Butler Yeats wrote his most important poems between the age of 50 and 75.
• If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
• A scorpion could survive for three weeks if it was embedded in a block of ice.
• After his sight improved, Thomas Edison still preferred using Braille to more normal reading.
• Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone, also set a world water-speed record of over 70 miles an hour at the age of 72.
• The last London smog occurred in 1962.
• A fog belt 50 ft. deep over an area of 104 square miles contains no more moisture that single bucket of water.
• As early as 246 B.C., con men were at work "aging" manuscripts and selling them to book collectors as antiques.
• Copies of the Bible and the Koran small enough to fit in a walnut shell have been written by hand.
• Sidewinder snakes move in their peculiar fashion to avoid putting too much of their body area on the hot desert sand.
• Two mouths full of cowbane, a member of the carrot family, is enough to kill you.
• In the eighteenth century, many women went to the trouble of having their gums pierced so they could use hooks to secure their false teeth.
• In 1973, two blind Peruvian soccer teams played a match using a ball filled with dried peas.
• During World War II, Americans had the idea of fitting bats with miniature bombs that would then be dropped as they flew over the enemy.
• The scorpion fish can merge the shape of its head with the surrounding rocks.
• The early Greeks experimented with the direction of their writing, going from right to left and left to right alternately, before adopting what is now the standard Western practice.
• The plant life contained in the oceans of the world makes up 85 percent of all our greenery.
• William the Conqueror was so strong he could jump onto his horse wearing full armor.
• The Indian atlas-moth has a 12-inch wing span.
• There is more pigment in brown eyes than in blue eyes.
• Allan Pinkerton, founder of the famous detective agency, died in 1884 when he stumbled, bit his own tongue, and was killed by the resulting gangrene.
• Sri Lanka is the second largest tea-producer in the world.
• Marie Curie, the Nobel Prize-winning scientist who discovered radium, died as a result of over-exposure to radioactivity.
• Crocodiles can see underwater because they have a semi-transparent third eyelid that slides into place when necessary.
• In 1972, a Swedish man balanced on one foot for over five hours, using nothing for support.
• People used to wear shoes on either foot.
• A giraffe's blood pressure is at least twice that of a healthy man.
• Tens of thousands of Ugandans reported that they had seen and heard a talking tortoise in 1978.
• King Camp Gillette invented the first disposable safety razor. Two years after he first patented his invention, he had only sold 168 blades. By the following year, sales jumped to an incredible 12.4 million blades.
• A thick glass is more likely to crack if hot water is poured onto it than a thin one.
• The popular card game bridge was invented in Turkey.
• It was the accepted practice in babylon 4,000 years ago that for amonth after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the "honey month" or what we know today as the "honeymoon."
• Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle," is the phrase inspired by this practice.
• In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes­when you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. That's where the phrase, "good night, sleep tight!" came from.
• The term "the whole nine yards" came from WW II fighter pilots in the Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the gourd, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole nine yards."
• Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
• Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
• Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.
• In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
• The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.
• Buzz Aldrin was the second man to set foot on the Moon. Moon was also his mother's maiden name.

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Submitted by Bill, Ardmore, Pa.
 

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The young exec trainee said to the older, wiser man, "Where has Ben Harris been hanging out? I haven't seen him for a while."

Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
 

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Submitted by Bob, Rockville, Md.
 

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 April 8th Humor Page