|
|
|
| |
| A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Las Vegas.
She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"
A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, "I don't know. Why don't you play your age?" Then he walked away.
Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won! He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.
The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she alright?"
The roulette wheel operator replied, "I don't know. She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up, she just fainted!"
Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of Jokes About Women, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
| A travel agent looked up from his desk and saw an older lady... ... and an older gentleman peering into the shop window, where there were posters of glamorous destinations around the world. The
agent had had a good week, and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.
He called them into his shop. "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer." He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five-star hotel.
The older lady and gentleman, as could be expected, gladly accepted and were off! About a month later, the little lady came in to the travel agency. "And how did you like your holiday?" the agent asked eagerly.
"The flight was exciting, and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"
Submitted by Bill, Ardmore, Pa.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of
Un-Categorizable Jokes, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
The human body
- It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
- One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).
- Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
- A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
- There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
- Women blink twice as often as men.
- The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
- Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
- If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Submitted by Lindsay, Melbourne, Australia
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List
of Interesting Facts, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
Two ropes walk in to a bar, one rope calls the bartender and says...
... “Barkeep, let me get a couple of beers.” The bartender says “I’m sorry we don’t serve ropes in here.”
Frustrated the ropes walk out and, since this was the only bar in town, they thought about it a little while when finally one rope says “I’ve got an idea.” So he gets him self into a bind and frizzles his ends and walks back into the bar and says “Barkeep, can I get a couple of beers.”
The barkeep says “Sure, but aren’t you those same two ropes that came in here earlier?” The rope answers “Nope, I’m a frayed knot.”
Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, Groaner Joke List, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
|
Top 10 Signs You’re Over The Hill
- When you sleep, people worry you’re dead.
- Your back goes out more than you do.
- Your best friend is dating someone half their age… and aren’t breaking any laws.
- You wear black socks with sandals.
- When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
- It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
- Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
- You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.
- Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
- You forgot that you already had your 50th birthday
Submitted by Bruce, Cold Harbor, Ill.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of Jokes
About Aging, My Little
Sister's Jokes
,
|
|
|
Submitted by Paul, Oklahoma City, OK |
|
Return to: Top of Page, List of Photos, My Little Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
June 1st Humor Page
|
|