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There's this guy
at a bar, just looking at his drink.
He stays like that for
half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver
steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and gulps it
down.
The poor man starts crying.
The truck driver says:
"Come on man, I was just joking. Here,... I'll buy you
another drink. I just can't see a man crying."
"No, it's not that. This
day is the worst of my life. First, I sleep through the alarm,
and I go late to my office. My boss, outraged, fires me. When I
leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The
police, they say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return
home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and
credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home,
and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I
leave home, and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about
putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my
poison!!!"
Submitted by Bill,
Narberth, Pa.
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Sister's Jokes,
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A New Yorker was
forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic
summons.
He grew increasingly restless
as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.
When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before
the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the
rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day.
"What for?!?!?" he
snapped at the judge. His honor, equally irked by a tedious day
and sharp query, roared out loud: "Twenty dollars contempt
of court! That's why!"
Then, noticing the man checking
his wallet, the judge relented: "That's all right. You
don't have to pay now."
The young man replied, "I
know. But I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more
words."
Submitted by Mike,
Broomfield, Co.
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Little Sister's Jokes,
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A new pastor
moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his
parishioners.
All went well until he came to
one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came
to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he
took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20"
and stuck it in the door.
The next day, as he was
counting the offering, he found his card in the collection
plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis
3:10."
You all are probably laughing
now, but since I skipped too many religious classes: Revelation
3:20 reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any
man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him,
and will dine with him, and he with me."
Genesis 3:10 reads: "And
he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid,
because I was naked."
Submitted by Jamie, Crofton,
Md.
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