A mother was
telling her little girl what her own
childhood was like.
"We used to skate
outside on a pond. I had a swing made
from a tire; it hung from a tree in
our front yard. We rode our pony. We
picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking
this in.
At last she
said, "Mom, I sure wish I'd gotten to
know you sooner!"
My grandson
was visiting one day when he asked,
"Grandma, do you know how you and God
are alike?"
I mentally
polished my halo as I asked, "No, how
are we alike?"
"You're both
old," he replied.
A little girl
was diligently pounding away on her
father's word processor. She told him
she was writing a story.
"What's it
about?" he asked.
"I don't
know," she replied. "I can't read."
I didn't know
if my granddaughter had learned her
colors yet, so I decided to test her.
I would point out something and ask
what color it was. She would tell me,
and she was always correct. But it was
fun for me, so I continued. At last
she headed for the door, saying
sagely, "Grandma, I think it's time
for you to try to figure out some of
these yourself!"
Our
five-year-old son, Mark, couldn't wait
to tell his father about the movie we
had watched on television, "20,000
Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes
with the submarine and the giant
octopus had kept him wide-eyed.
In the middle
of the telling, my husband interrupted
Mark to ask, "What caused the
submarine to sink?"
With a look of
incredulity, Mark replied, "Dad, it
was the 20,000 leaks!"
When my
grandson, Billy, and I entered our
vacation cabin, we kept the lights off
until we were inside to keep from
attracting pesky insects. Still, a few
fireflies followed us in. Noticing
them before I did, Billy whispered,
"It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes
are coming after us with flashlights."
When my
grandson asked me how old I was, I
teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."
"Look in your
underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine
says I'm four."
A second
grader came home from school and said
to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We
learned how to make babies today."
The mother,
more than a little surprised, tried to
keep her cool. "That's interesting,"
she said, "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple,"
replied the girl.
"You just
change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
