. . , noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he ask, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"

"Well Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"

"And the boar tore up his leg?"

"No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and 'fore we got out here, the dern thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved 'em all!"

"So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?"

"No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I came to, that pig had dove into the pond and dragged me out 'fore I drownded. Sure did save my life."

"And that was when he hurt his leg?"

"Oh no, he was fine. Cleaned him up, too."

"OK, Fred. So just tell me. How did he get the wooden leg?"

He goes over to them and says, "Excuse me, boys, but I've got a couple of bucks here for the one who can give me the answer to a question. You on?"

" Sure," they chorus, "What's the question, mister?"

"Who do you think was the greatest man to have ever lived? Simple eh?"

They became silent as they thought, then the youngest said "Sure, it has to have been Saint Patrick?"

"Nice try, son" said the priest, "but sorry, not the one I'm thinking of."

The next one says "Well then, it has to be Babe Ruth. Me Dad reckons he was the greatest."

"Sorry, son, the greatest baseballer, not the greatest man."

"Well", the next one says, "I'll vote for Davey Crockett. We learnt about him is school.'

"Yes, great, but not the greatest." Turning to the last boy he says, "Well, what about you. What do you say?"

"It vas Jesus Christ."

"Hey. Right on! Great. Here's the money." He hands it over, and is about to walk away, a little happier than he'd been, when he suddenly turns round and says to the last boy "Excuse me, son, but anen't you Jewish?"

" Sure," he replies

"So how come you said what you said?"

"Well, of course in my heart of hearts I know it vas Moses - but business is business."

So, the driver told the Trooper that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The Trooper told him that

he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car and asked if he could juggle them.

The juggler stated that he could and asked the Trooper to light them.

The Trooper got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler.

While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car, a drunk got out and watched the performance briefly, he then staggered over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and flopped in the back seat..

The Trooper observed him doing this and went over to the patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk just what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, "You might azh well take my ass ta jail, cause there's no way I can pass that test!"