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A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting ... when one of them grabs his chest and falls to the
ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead! What Should I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions.. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence... and then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now what?"
Submitted by Pete, Richland, Wa.
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A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter's plane . . .
The daughter was coming home from the Peace Corps in Uganda and surprises her Mother who is in the process of lighting the Friday night candles and serving the matzoth ball soup.
The mother is so thrilled she can't stop hugging and kissing her daughter.
Finally she says, "Sit down, darling. Tell me all about what you were doing."
Her daughter says, "Mom, I got married."
"Oy, mazeltov," says the mother. "How could you do that without telling me? What's he like? What does he do? Where is he?"
"He's waiting outside on the porch while I tell you."
"What are you talking about? Bring him in. I want to meet my new son-in-law."
The daughter brings him in and to her consternation the mother sees a black man standing before her wearing a big grin, a feathered cod piece, an enormous head dress, animal tooth beads and he is holding a very tall spear in an upright position.
The mother grabs her daughter, slaps her back and forth on both cheeks and screams, "Dummy, Stupid, Idiot. .I said RICH doctor!"
Submitted by Mike, Broomfield, Co. |
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Window washer for beauty salon ... download video Submitted by Lindsey,
Melbourne, Australia
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Did you ever notice, when you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?
Submitted by Don, Hagerstown, Md.
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Feb 15th Humor Page
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