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Questions only someone with too much
time on their hands could dream up . . .
- Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? And other
questions
- Why is the third hand on the watch called the
second hand?
- If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how
would we ever know?
- If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where
did he find the words?
- Why do we say something is out of whack? What
is a whack?
- Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the
same thing?
- Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean
the same thing?
- Why do 'tug' boats push their
barges?
- Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game"
when we are already there?
- Why are they called "stands" when they are
made for sitting?
- Why is it call "after dark" when it really is
"after light" ?
- Doesn't 'expecting the unexpected" make the
unexpected expected?
- Why are a 'wise man' and a 'wise guy'
opposites?
- Why do 'overlook and 'oversee' mean opposite
things?
- Why is phonics not spelled the way it
sounds?
- If work is so terrific, why do they have to
pay you to do it?
- If all the world is a stage, where is the
audience sitting?
- If love is blind, why is lingerie so
popular?
- If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can
you read all right?
- Why is bra singular and panties
plural?
- Why do you press harder on the buttons of a
remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
- Why do we put suits in garment bags and
garments in a suitcase?
- How come abbreviated is such a long
word?
- Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean
when we use them?
- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the
bottle?
- Why do they call it a TV set, when you only
get one?
Submitted by Wendy,
Tipztime.com
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A man was driving
down the road. He passed a traffic camera and saw it
Flash.
Astounded that he had been caught
speeding when he was doing the speed limit, he turned around and,
going even slower, he passed the camera.
Again, he saw it flash. He
couldn't believe it! So he turned and, going a snail's pace, he
passed the camera. AGAIN, he saw the camera flash. He guessed it
must have a fault, and home he went. Four weeks later he
received 3 traffic fines in the mail, all for not wearing a
seatbelt.
Submitted by Larry,
Walkersville,
MD.
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More totally useless facts for you to impress
your friends with:
- The symbol on the "pound" key (#) is called an
octothorpe.
- The dot over the letter 'i' is called a
tittle.
- The word "set" has more definitions than any
other word in the English language.
- "Underground" is the only word in the English
language that begins and ends with the letters "und."
- There are only four words in the English
language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous,
and hazardous.
- The longest word in the English language,
according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
- The only other word with the same number of
letters is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its
plural.
- The longest place-name still in use
is
- Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturi-
- pukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwenuakitnatahu, a
New Zealand hill.
- Donald Duck's middle name is
Fauntleroy.
- Steely Dan got their name from a sexual device
depicted in the book 'The Naked Lunch.'
- A pregnant goldfish is called a
twit.
- The Ramses brand condom is named after the
great pharaoh Ramses II, who fathered over 160 children.
- There is a seven-letter word in the English
language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its
letters. This word is "therein," and the words within it are: the,
there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, herein.
- The letters KGB stand for Komitet
Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti.
- To "testify" was based on men in the Roman
court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their
testicles.
- The combination "ough" can be pronounced in
nine different ways the following sentence contains them all: "A
rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the
streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and
hiccoughed."
- The only 15 letter word that can be spelled
without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
- Facetious and abstemious contain all the
vowels in the correct order, as does arsenious, meaning "containing
arsenic."
- The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the
Persian phrase "Shah Mat," which means "the king is
dead."
- The first episode of "Joanie Loves Chachi" was
the highest-rated American program in the history of Korean
television. "Chachi" is Korean for "penis."
Submitted by Kevin, Dallas, Tx.
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New modern day definitions for the
modern mother
- AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who
has gone through labor to make love again.
- DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would
care to order dessert.
- FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your
children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of
financial disaster.
- FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby
doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
- FULL NAME: What you call your child when
you're mad at him.
- GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your
children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising
them right.
- HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters
a dirty word.
- IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is
still vivid.
- INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as
long as they do everything we say.
- OW: The first word spoken by children with
older siblings.
- PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other
small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
- SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than
yours.
- STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's
pacifier by
- boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by
blowing on it.
- TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child
wearing Superman pajamas.
- TWO MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns
red and she begins to make those familiar grunting
noises.
- VERBAL: able to whine in words
- WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your
house...
Submitted by Wendy,
Tipztime.com
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