|
Everything I need to know about
life, I learned from Noah's Ark...
-
Don't miss the boat.
-
Remember that we are all in
the same boat.
-
Plan ahead. It wasn't raining
when Noah built the Ark.
-
Stay fit. When you're 600
years old, someone may ask you to do something really
big.
-
Don't listen to critics; just
get on with the job that needs to be done.
-
Build your future on high
ground.
-
For safety's sake, travel in
pairs.
-
Speed isn't always an
advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
-
When you're stressed, float a
while.
-
Remember, the Ark was built
by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
-
No matter the storm, when you
are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.
Submitted by Sister Wink, Brooklyn,
NY
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List
of Humorous Sayings, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
A couple of redneck hunters are out in the woods
. . .
. . .
when one of them falls to the
ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing. His eyes are rolled back
in his head.
The other guy whips out his
cellphone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator: "My friend
is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing
voice, says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's
make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot
is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says,
"O.K., now what?"
Submitted by Dave, Bolder Co.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of
Redneck Jokes, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
A man left for a
vacation to Jamaica.
His wife was on a business trip
and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached
his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her
e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed
one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly
preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at
the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor
dead. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this
note on the screen: "Dearest Wife, Just got checked in.
Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Your Loving
Husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here."
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, Clean Joke List, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
Back
to Feb 11 Humor Page
|
|