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| A doctor had a habit of stopping off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at
precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar.
The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"
"No, I'm sorry," replied the bartender, "It's a hickory daiquiri, Doc."
Submitted by Debbie, Middletown, Md.
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| Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died ... ... Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a singles' bar, he spotted a woman whose
beauty took his breath away.
"I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became his stepmother.
... when will men ever learn!
Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, Pa.
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| With Pesach soon upon them, the Jewish community in Madrid ... ... found themselves in a desperate situation. There was an acute
shortage of horseradish. (Now many of you may not know that horseradish is the key seder ingredient, and not only that fiery condiment for gefilte fish, and which is also known as chrain).
A hue and cry arose and the entire community was mobilized in an effort to prevent this shonda (shame, tragedy). All the European Union Countries gave them the same reply, "Sorry, we have none to send." In desperation, the Rabbi phoned one of his Yeshiva friends in
Tel Aviv and begged him to send a crate of horseradish by air freight to Madrid.
Two days before Pesach, a crate of grade Aleph, tear-jerking, Israeli horseradish was loaded at Ben Gurion Airport onto the EL Al 789 flight to Madrid, and all seemed to be well. Unfortunately, when the
Rabbi went to the Madrid Airport to claim the horseradish he was informed that a wildcat strike had just broken out and no shipments would be unloaded for at least four days.
wait for it!!!!!
As a result: The chrain in Spain stayed mainly on the plane.
... Ok, ok, so you might have to be Jewish to appreciate the humor ...
Submitted by Larry, Walkersville, Md.
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April 9th Humor Page
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