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You Might Be From A Small Town
If ...
- You can name everyone you
graduated with.
- You know what 4-H is.
- You ever went to parties at a
pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road
- You used to drag
"main."
- You said the 'f' word and your
parents knew within the hour.
- You schedule parties around
the schedule of different police officers, since you know
which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't-same with
the game warden.
- You ever went cow-tipping or
snipe hunting.
- School gets canceled for state
events.
- You could never buy cigarettes
because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you
were old enough they'd tell your parents anyhow).
- When you did find someone old
enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes, you still had to go
out to the country and drive on back roads to smoke them.
- You were ever in the
Homecoming parade.
- You have ever gone home for
Homecoming.
- It was cool to date someone
from the neighboring town.
- You had senior skip day.
- The whole school went to the
same party after graduation.
- You don't give directions by
street names or directions by references.
- The cc golf course had
only 9 holes.
- You can't help but date a
friend's ex-girlfriend.
- Your car stays filthy because
of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for
this reason.
- You think kids that ride
skateboards are weird.
- The town next to you is
considered "trashy" or "snooty", but is
actually just like your town.
- Getting paid minimum wage is
considered a raise.
- You refer to anyone with a
house newer than 1980 as the "rich people".
- The people in the city dress
funny, then you pick-up on the trend two years later.
- You bragged to your friends
because you got pipes on your truck for your birthday.
- Anyone you want can be found
at either the Dairy Queen or the feed store.
- You see at least one friend a
week driving a tractor through town.
- Football coaches suggest that
you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.
- Directions are given using
"the" stop light as a reference.
- The city council meets at the
coffee shop.
- Your letter jacket was worn
after your 19th birthday.
- You have ever taken a trailer
or dog to school on a daily basis.
- Weekend excitement involves a
trip to a Wal-Mart.
- Even the ugly people enter
beauty contest.
- You decide to walk somewhere
for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask if you need a
ride.
- Your teachers call you by your
older siblings names.
- Your teachers remember when
they taught your parents.
- You can charge at all the
local stores.
- The closest McDonald's is 45
miles away.
- So is the closest mall.
- It is normal to see an old man
riding through town on a riding lawn mower.
- You laugh out loud reading
this because you know they're all true and forward it to
everyone who lives in your town! (because you know them all!)
Submitted by
Jack,
of Emmitsburg, Maryland
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Asked of Librarians Dept:
- "Do you have a list of all the
books written in the English language?"
- "I'm looking for Robert James
Waller's book, 'Waltzing through Grand Rapids.'" (Actual
title wanted: "Slow Waltz in Cedar Bend.")
- "Where is the reference desk?"
This was asked of a person sitting at a desk who had,
hanging above her head, a sign saying "REFERENCE DESK"!
- "Can you tell me why so many
famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park
sites?"
- "Do you have any books with
photographs of dinosaurs?"
Submitted by Don, Hagerstown, Md.
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The next time you feel like GOD
can't use you, just remember...
- Noah was a drunk Abraham
was too old
- Isaac was a daydreamer
- Jacob was a liar Leah was
ugly
- Joseph was abused
- Moses had a stuttering
problem
- Gideon was afraid
- Sampson had long hair and
was a womanizer
- Rahab was a prostitute
- Jeremiah and Timothy were
too young
- David had an affair and
was a murderer
- Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
- Jonah ran from God
- Naomi was a widow
- Job went bankrupt
- John the Baptist ate bugs
- Peter denied Christ
- The Disciples fell asleep
while praying
- Martha worried about
everything
- The Samaritan woman was
divorced, more than once
- Zaccheus was too small
- Paul was too religious
- Timothy had an ulcer
- AND Lazarus was dead!
Submitted by Cindy,
Emmitsburg, MD.
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Irish Cat ...
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March
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