Laughing Bush Out of Office
"President Bush announced he has a
five-point strategy for getting out of Iraq. Points six through
ten will be handled by the Kerry administration." -- David
Letterman
"President Bush's campaign is now
attacking John Kerry for throwing away some of his medals to
protest the Vietnam War. Bush did not have any medals to throw
away, but in his defense, he did have all of his service records
thrown out." -- Jay Leno
"President Bush says in the last month he
has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign
workers." -- Craig Kilborn
"Is it me or is Bush going everywhere
Kerry goes? So far in the past week, President Bush has followed
John Kerry to Davenport, Iowa; New Mexico; Las Vegas; Los Angeles;
and he follows him to Portland, Oregon....The only place he never
followed John Kerry was Vietnam." --Jay Leno
"President Bush said that the people who
are attacking our forces in Iraq are getting more and more
desperate because we're making so much progress. So just remember,
the worse it gets, the better it is." --Jay Leno
"As of yesterday, the Bush administration
still hadn't found the source of the White House leak that outed a
woman as a CIA operative. To recap, here are the things President
Bush can't find: The source of the leak, weapons of mass
destruction in Iraq, Osama bin Laden, the link between Saddam and
Osama bin Laden, the guy who sent the anthrax through the mail,
and his butt with two hands and a flashlight." -- Tina Fey,
Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"
"The White House now has disputed
allegations by members of the House Intelligence Committee that
President Bush went to war with Iraq based on vague intelligence.
Of course he did: EVERYTHING Bush does is based on vague
intelligence." -- Jay Leno
"Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush
will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or even his
father, George W. is immune from scandal. Because if George W.
testifies that he had no idea what was going on, wouldn't you
believe him?" -Jay Leno
Submitted by Vicki, Downingtown, Pa.