Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute
jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long
as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to
sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a
stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it
okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to
diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than
three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a
twenty.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and
"I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the
apartment next door.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to
gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter,
and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear
leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow
strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing
strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to
discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is
the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in
the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the
bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Campfire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he
will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years,
what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the
dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is their
anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of
people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. While visiting China, your tour guide
starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected
part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't
neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great
Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer
period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is
responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that
he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at
least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are
two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh.
