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15 Pieces of Advice to Be Passed on to Your Daughters:
- Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
- What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
- If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
- Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
- Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
- Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
- Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
- Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
- Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
- Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
- If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
- The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
- If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
- Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
- Sadly, all men are created equal.
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Jokes About Marriage, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
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A reporter did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan .. ... several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted
that women customarily walked 5 paces behind their husbands.
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. From Ms. Walters's vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands and are happy
to maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation, said, "Land mines."
Moral of the Story: Behind Every Man Is a Smart Woman!!
Submitted by Bill, Narberth, Pa.
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Sister's Jokes,
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Mrs. Davidson's dishwasher quit working so she calls a repairman.
Since she has to go to work the next day, she tells him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish-washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. Oh, by the way, don't worry about my bulldog; he won't bother you. But, whatever
you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!"
When the repairman arrives at Mrs. Davidson's apartment the next day, he discovers the biggest and meanest Bull Dog he has ever seen. But just as she said, the dog just lays there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his business. The Parrot, however, drove
him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name-calling.
Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"
Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, MD.
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March 28th Humor Page
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