|
|
|
| |
|
Two elderly people were living in a mobile home park in Florida. He was a widower and she was a widow. They had known one another for a
number of years.
One evening there was a community supper in the Club House, and the widower and widow made a foursome with two other singles.
They had a wonderful evening and spirits were high. The widower sent a few admiring glances across the table, and the widow smiled coyly back at him. Finally, he
plucked up his courage to ask her, " Will you marry me? "
After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes. Yes, I will. "
The meal ended with a few more pleasant exchanges and they went to their respective homes. The next morning, the widower was troubled. Did she say 'Yes' or did she say
'No'? He couldn't remember.
Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank. He remembered asking the question, but for the
life of him he could not recall her response.
With fear and trepidation, he picked up the phone and called her.
First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her,
"When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?
"Why, you silly man, I said 'Yes. Yes I will.' And I meant it with all my heart. "
The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat. Then she continued, "And I am so glad you called because I couldn't remember who asked me.
Submitted by Donna, Emmitsburg, Md.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of Jokes
About Aging, My Little
Sister's Jokes
,
|
|
|
| An old man goes to a diner every day for lunch.
He always orders the soup du jour. One day the manager asks him how he liked his meal. The old man replies, in a thick acent, "Wass goot, but you could give a
little more bread."
So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him four slices of bread. "How was your meal, sir?" the manager asks. "Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread," comes the
reply.
So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him eight slices of bread. "How was your meal today, sir?" the manager asks. "Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread," comes
the reply.
So ... the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him a whole loaf of bread with his soup. "How was your meal, sir?" the manager asks, when he comes to pay. "Wass goot, but you could
give just a little more bread," comes the reply once again.
The manager is now obsessed with seeing this customer say that he is satisfied with his meal, so he goes to the bakery, and orders a six-foot-long loaf of bread. When the man comes in as usual
the next day, the waitress and the manager cut the loaf in half, butter the entire length of each half, and lay it out along the counter, right next to his bowl of soup. The old man sits down,
and devours both his bowl of soup, and both halves of the six-foot-long loaf of bread.
The manager now thinks he will get the answer he is looking for, and when the old man comes up to pay for his meal, the manager asks in the usual way: "How was your meal TODAY, sir?"
The old man replies: "It wass goot as usual, but I see you are back to giving only two slices of bread."
Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, Clean Joke List, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
| A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks for some
rectum deodorant.
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from drug stores on a regular basis and would like some more.
"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any"
"But I always buy it at drug stores," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.
"YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it." She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal
stick of underarm deodorant".
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container...
"To Apply, Push up Bottom."
Submitted by Kelly, Rohnert Park, CA
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, Blonde Joke List, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
| Child rearing FAQs Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says divided by two.
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Does pregnancy cause haemorrhoids?
A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.
Q: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A: It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.
Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A: When you see teeth marks.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
Submitted by Bill, Ardmore, Pa.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of
Jokes About Marriage, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
Gas Prices - Take 1
 Submitted by Jamie, Frederick, Md.
|
|
Return to: Top
of Page, List of Photos, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
|
|
|
April 24th Humor Page
|
|