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Interpreting Job Performance Evaluations
Terms
- Good communication skills = spends a
lot of time on the phone
- Average employee = not too bright
- Exceptionally well qualified = made no major blunders yet
- Work is first priority = too ugly to get a date
- Active socially = drinks a lot
- Family is active socially = spouse drinks, too
- Independent worker = nobody knows what he/she does
- Quick thinking = offers plausible excuses
- Careful thinker = wont make a decision
- Aggressive = obnoxious
- Uses logic on difficult jobs = gets someone else to do it
- Expresses themselves well = speaks english
- Meticulous attention to detail = a nit picker
- Has leadership qualities = is tall or has a loud voice
- Exceptionally good judgement = lucky
- Keen sense of humour = knows a lot of dirty jokes
- Career minded = back stabber
- Loyal = can't get a job anywhere else
Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.
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Christian One Liners
- Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses
started out as a basket case.
- Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to
sit in their pews.
- Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.
- It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
- The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but
mosquitoes come close.
- When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
- People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of
the road, and the back of the church.
- Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front
door forever.
- Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't
belong.
- If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the
one it has.
- God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So
why should you?
- Some minds are like concrete thoroughly mixed up and permanently
set.
- Peace starts with a smile
- I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does
it make which one you stay home from?
- A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises"
are just sitting on the premises.
- We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
- Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.
- Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
- Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
- Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
- Forbidden fruits create many jams.
- God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
- God grades on the cross, not the curve.
- God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit"
over "religious nuts!"
- God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
- He who angers you, controls you!
- If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!
- Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
- The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
- The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not
protect you.
- We don't change the message, the message changes us.
- You can tell how big a person is by what it takes
to..........discourage him.
- The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross 3 nails=
4 given.
Submitted by Jennie, Thurmont, MD
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Ponderings for Idle Moments
- Whose cruel idea was it for the word
"lisp" to have an "s" in it?
- Since light travels faster than
sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them
speak?
- How come abbreviated is such a long
word?
- If it's zero degrees outside today
and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going
to be?
- Since Americans throw rice at
weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
- Why are they called apartments, when
they're all stuck together?
- Why do banks charge you a
"non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
- If a tree falls in the forest
and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
- When two airplanes almost collide
why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
- Do fish get cramps after eating?
Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
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And you thought you had a bad neighbor?
![[]](../../../pictures/2006/image0011.jpg)
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