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There is a two-letter word that perhaps
has more meanings than any other two-letter word ...
...
and that is "UP."
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the
sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do
we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do
we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to
the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends And we use it
to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers
and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the
old car.
At other times the little word has real special
meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an
appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP
is special. And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because
it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close
it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP,
look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes
UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions .
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a
list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time,
but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding
UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it
wets UP the earth. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for
now my time is UP, so.............
Time to shut UP! .....!
Oh...one more thing: What is the first thing you
do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?
U P
Submitted by Don, Bethesda, Md.
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Motivations
- You can't just sit there and wait for people
to give you that golden dream. You've got to get out there and make it
happen for yourself. Diana Ross
- If you want to gather honey, don't kick over
the beehive, Dale Carnegie
- Champions know that success is inevitable,
that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. They know that
the best way to forecast the future is to create it. Michael J. Gelb
- Never let your failures go to your heart or
your successes go to your head. Anon
- The biggest mistake is to believe that you're
working for someone else. Nashua Cavalier
- You are your own yardstick. You may never be
the champion, but if you measure up to your best you are the best.
Anon
- The universe is full of magical things
patiently waiting for out wits to grow sharper. Eden Philpotts
- Accomplishment is easiest when we work the
hardest, and hardest when we work the easiest. Anon
- Whenever we do what we can we can immediately
do more. James Freeman Clarke
- There are very few things we can achieve
without someone's help. Anon
- Success is never ending, failure is never
final. Dr. Robert Schuller
- One of the secrets of success is to refuse to
let temporary setbacks defeat us. Mary Kay
- A wise man, when asked how he had learnt so
much about everything, replied, "By never being afraid to ask
questions about anything of which I was ignorant." John Abbott
- Like a ten-speed bike, most of us have gears
we do not use. Charles Schultz
- He that is good at making excuses is seldom
good at anything else. Benjamin Franklin
Submitted by Lindsey, Melbourne,
Australia.
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Did you ever wonder if ...
- Once you're in heaven, do you
get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
- What disease did cured ham actually have?
- How is it that we put man on the moon before
we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
- Why is it that people say they "slept like a
baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it
still called a hearing?
- Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and
then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
- Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the
carpool lane?
- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can
make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto
remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
- If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy
all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star have the same tune?
- Why did you just try singing the two songs
above?
- Why do they call it an asteroid when it's
outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your
butt?
Submitted by Jay, Long Island,
NY.
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Billy Bob and Rufus worked together in
a Kentucky clothing factory ...
... and
both were laid off so they went to the unemployment office.
When asked his occupation, Billy Bob said "Panty
Stitcher..... I sew elastic into ladies cotton panties"..... The clerk
looked up "Panty Stitcher" and put down it was listed as unskilled
labor, so she put him down for $300 a week unemployment pay.
She asked Rufus his occupation and he said,
"Diesel Fitter", which was listed as a skilled job.... She put him down
for $600 a week.
When Billy Bob found out he was furious! He
stormed back into the office to find out why his co-worker got twice the
money......the clerk explained, "Panty Stitchers are unskilled, and
Diesel Fitters are skilled labor"
"What skill?" yelled Billy Bob. I sew the
elastic on the panties and Rufus puts 'em over his head and says,
"Diesel fitter"....!!!!
Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg,
Pa.
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Home Security they way it should be ...
Download Video
Submitted by
Audrey, Emmitsburg, Md.
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Rainy photos
...
Submitted by Bill,
Ardmore, Pa.
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Sept 6th Humor Page
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