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Blue State Bumper Stickers
- 1/20/09: End of an Error
- That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties
Anyway
- Let's Fix Democracy in This Country First
- If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran
- Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber
- If You Can Read This, You're Not Our
President
- Of Course It Hurts: You're Getting Screwed by
an Elephant
- Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet?
- George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids
Will Have to Fight
- Impeachment: It's Not Just for Blowjobs
Anymore
- America: One Nation, Under Surveillance
- They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It
- Who's God Do You Kill For?
- Cheney/Satan '08
- Jail to the Chief
- No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade Iraq?
- Bush: God's Way of Proving Intelligent Design
is Full Of Crap
- Bad President! No Banana.
- We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least
One Language
- We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill
Them
- Is It Vietnam Yet?
- Bush Doesn't Care About White People, Either
- Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This
Hand Basket?
- You Elected Him. You Deserve Him.
- Impeach Cheney First
- Dubya, Your Dad Shoulda Pulled Out, Too
- When Bush Took Office, Gas Was $1.46
- Pray For Impeachment
- Fermez la Bush
- The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th
Century
- What Part of "Bush Lied" Don't You
Understand?
- One Nation Under Clod
- 2004: Embarrassed 2005: Horrified 2006:
Terrified
- Bush Never Exhaled
- At Least Nixon Resigned
Submitted by Vicki, Downingtown, Pa.
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An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years.
The man finally decided to ask her to
marry. She immediately said "yes".
The next morning when he awoke, he
couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait,
no, she looked at me funny..."
After about an hour of trying to
remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call.
Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the
marriage proposal.
"Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you
called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember
who it was."
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After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date ...
... the young lady decided she had been
stood up. She changed from her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers,
fixed some popcorn and resigned herself to an evening of TV. No sooner
had she flopped down in front of the TV than her doorbell rang.
There stood her date. He took one look
at her and gasped, "I'm two hours late, and you're still not ready?"
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A police chief, a fire chief, and a city attorney were traveling
together by car... ...
to a municipal management conference in a distant city. Their car broke
down in a rural area, and they were forced to seek shelter for the night
at a nearby farmhouse.
The farmer welcomed them in, but cautioned them
that there were only two spare beds, and that one of them would have to
sleep in the barn with the farm animals. After a short conference, the
police chief agreed to take the barn.
Shortly after retiring, a knock was heard on the
door of the farmhouse. The party inside answered to find the police
chief standing there, complaining that he could not sleep. There were
pigs in the barn, he said, and he was reminded of the days when everyone
called him a pig. The fire chief then volunteered to exchange with the
police chief.
A short time later, another knock was heard at
the door. The fire chief complained that the cows in the barn reminded
him of Mrs. O'Leary's cow that started the Chicago fire, and that every
time he started to go to sleep, he started to have a fireman's worst
nightmare, that of burning to death. The city attorney, in desperation
for sleep, then agreed to sleep in the barn.
This seemed like a good idea until a few minutes
later, when another knock was heard at the door. When the occupants
answered the door, there stood the very indignant cows and pigs.
Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
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Tips for a more enjoyable
life ...
- Old telephone books make ideal personal
address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you
don't know.
- Fool other drivers into thinking you have an
expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to
your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the
curb.
- Avoid parking tickets by leaving your
windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car
parked illegally.
- No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking
tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.
- Apply red nail polish to your nails before
clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your
bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a
contrasting polish should be selected).
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High-Speed
Police Pursuit . Great Commercial for Imodium -
Download Video
Submitted by Al, Seattle, Wa.
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Female IT Experts
Submitted by Bill,
Ardmore, Pa.
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Jan 1st Humor Page
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