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| A patient went to the Doctor and asked him to check his leg "Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"
The doctor cautiously places his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Give me $10! I'm desperate! I need $10!"
"I've never seen or heard anything like this before! How long has this been going on?" the doctor asked.
"That's nothing, Doc. Put your ear to my knee."
The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Please! I really need $5! Just $5! Please! I'm desperate!"
"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was truly dumbfounded.
"Wait, Doc, that's not all of it. There's more. Just put your ear down on my ankle," the man urged him.
The doctor did as the man said and was amazed to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need $20! Please lend me $20, please! I am really desperate!"
"I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing about it in any of my books," he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. "However... I can make a well-educated guess.
Based on life and all my previous experiences, I can tell you with some certainty, that your leg seems to be broke in three places."
Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.
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| "How long have you been driving without a tail light?" asked the policeman... ... after pulling over a motorist. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car and gave a long, painful groan.
He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit.
"Come on, now," he said, "you don't have to take it so hard. It isn't that serious."
"It isn't?" cried the motorist.
"Then you know what happened to my boat and trailer?"
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| My wife and I, both graduate students, recently celebrated the arrival of our first child At my wife's insistence, we had paid our entire medical bill and were now worried about meeting other payments.
We were discussing our sad financial situation one evening when our son demanded a diaper change.
As my wife leaned over the baby's crib, I heard her mutter, "The only thing in the house that's paid for, and it leaks."
Submitted by Bill, Ardmore, Pa.
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A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian
"What is it made of?" she asked.
"Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied.
"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us."
"Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."
Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, England
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![[]](../../../pictures/2009/ATT49819.jpg)
Submitted by Jay, Long Island, NY
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Sept 16th Humor Page
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